Wrapping it up neatly with a bow

Not really, but we'll pretend. :)

Right now, I am sitting in a slowly-getting-packed-up apartment-style dorm. My walls are barren. . . My television has moved to its new home . . . My clothes are packed away.

It feels like the end of an era for me so I'm feeling sentimental.

This was my third year of living on-campus and my second year being on housing staff. I've lived in my residence hall for the last two years and today I'm packing it away for good. I wanted to continue my Assistant Resident Director job next year, but life gets in the way.

I had decided that my blood family was more important than my housing staff family.

I have a great relationship with my "boss" - the Resident Director of my hall, and I'm going to miss our stupid meeting that always end up going extremely off-topic.

As much as residents can be stupid and do less-than-appropriate things, it's going to be weird not having hall-chaos around me all the time.

Some of my best friends live in this Hall with me. I could walk up a few flights of stairs and have a shoulder to lean on when life got too tough or I needed to rant and get some problems off of my chest.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm excited to move in with my Big Sis and little niece, LT, and I won't forget the best roomie ever - my brother-in-law. But I've always loved living on campus. The energy of the Halls is infectious and when residents come up to me and feel like the Hall is a big family, it makes me smile and love this job.

But now is the time for change. I need to be able to get away and help my mom on my days off from work and not worry about duty hours. I called my mother as I was waiting to take a final this morning and started to cry thinking about how she is living alone and dealing with not being able to peel a cold orange because of the crazy drugs she has to be on for treatment. I told her that the pain she is feeling is good pain - it means she's going to get better - and I know I said it more for me than for her.

This is the first summer I'm spending away from my home town and away from my mother. Now change and growth is important, but it's still a weird feeling for me. It also feels like horrible timing considering my mom's cancer diagnosis but she understands that I can't move back and she doesn't really have room for me in her two-bedroom apartment.

Truer now more than ever

This summer is going to be a big change for me, but it is good change.

That's all for now,

Kelsey Jean

"There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction." Winston Churchill

Change - with a capital "C"

It's been a long time. I know, it's terrible. I failed at my inital goal of a couple of posts a week. 

I won't try to make excuses but my life has been chock full of Changes. A lot of changes. 

Shortly before my last post, my Dad passed away. He had a long battle with alcoholism and his body just shut down. My family has been dealing with a lot since this all happened so I didn't know how to write this post. I was afraid of it really. I didn't want to re-open the floodgates of emotion that I have already dealt with since his passing in December. But I think I am in a peaceful place and can deal with it.

Proud Auntie with Niece LT

Happiness came after my dad's passing. My little niece was born! Little LT was born on February 27th, 2012 shortly before 8:30 in the morning. I spent all night in the hospital with my Big Sis and got to greet this gorgeous girl as she came in to the world! I am absolutely obsessed with this "little" girl. She has grown so much and she was already a big "little" girl when she was born. 

I spend as much time as possible with her - I go there after class, before work, after work. Whenever I can! I am moving in with my big sis and her hubby this summer just so I can be roomies with this sweetheart! I can't wait to be that close to her.

Me, my Mom, Big Sis and Little LT

Now, the biggest Change. My Mom was recently diagnosed with Rectal Cancer. Cancer - it's a four letter word. The woman I aspire to be, the woman I have always had in my life, the woman I could always turn to now has Cancer. She is an extremely healthy lady, so it makes no sense to us as to why she would get this diagnosis. But we need to deal with it. 

I'm not going to get into the medical side of her diagnosis, you can turn to my big sis for that, but in the future I will be sharing our experiences with it. 

Now I move on with dealing with the big Changes in my life. I hope that I will be better at posting as it is a little therapeutic for me. Writing has always been a safe place for me to share my emotions and feelings. 

For now, this is it. I hope to share more later,

Kelsey Jean